Daily Dish

New One Hundred Bills

Perks, Praise and Pay: Why Money Talks

"Money talks," I say. It's my comeback in a conversation about compensation. I'm past the stage in life when perks or praise persuade me to accept less than I'm worth on the market. Of course, were I in the midst of a salary negotiation, "money talks" isn't the phrase I would use. Instead, I would come armed with market data relative to my role, responsibilities and experience. I would frame my value in terms of supply and demand, contributions to date, and future value. When it comes to people, work and motivation … [Read More...]

Cultural Musings

Women Friends Laughing

What Women Want

What women want… or so pop culture would have us believe.

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Women’s Issues

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f Mad Men Season 7 Episode 8 Peggy and Joan in Elevator

Mad Men Season 7 Episode 8: Severance (Indeed)

Mad Men creator Matt Weiner explains the theme of Mad Men Season 7 Episode 8, “Severance,” as the story of the life not lived. Don is in the midst of his second divorce and gets a glimpse of what life might have been like had he married someone else and focused on family. Ken has an opportunity to leave advertising and write his novel (at last). And Peggy … [Read More...]

Woman With a Lot on Her Mind 750x500

Obsessing Over Someone You Love (But Can’t Have)

Have you ever been in love to the point of obsession? Have you ever obsessed over someone you love but couldn't have, and you just couldn't stop yourself? You may not have risen (or fallen) to Fatal Attraction mode, and thank goodness, but when it comes to love, to loving someone unattainable, to loving the idea of … [Read More...]

f Daydreaming a Different Life 2

Dreaming of a Different Life: The Walk-Away Wife

I was recalling a story I heard as a child about a woman who walked away from her life. She simply got up, got dressed, and left her home, her husband, and her children. Yes, "woman walking away" syndrome is a thing, sometimes referred to as the Walk-Away Wife. This phenomenon certainly wasn't discussed … [Read More...]

Beautiful African American Woman in Red

Is Divorce a Failure?

This morning I awoke thinking about notions of failure, and specifically, wondering if we are wrong in categorizing divorce as failure. For that matter, are we wrong to say that a marriage "fails" if it ends in divorce? Many say yes. They say yes unequivocally. They may disregard 10 good years and … [Read More...]

Tourists in Europe with Selfie Stick

Standing by the Selfie Stick?

On a recent trip overseas, I expected to see selfie sticks everywhere. After all, not only do we wish to place ourselves in exotic (or beautiful) locales, but we wish to look tip top -- at the proper distance, at our best angles, the backdrop just so -- when we are about to capture that happy smile and share it on Instagram, Twitter, and … [Read More...]

Smiling 65-year-old Woman 750

Blooming… Success at Any Age?

I wouldn't necessarily refer to individuals who know success late in life as late bloomers. I'd say the notion of being a perpetual bloomer may fit better. After all, even the person hailed as an "overnight" success is generally someone who has worked many years, and will continue to do so in order to maintain his or her achievements, and … [Read More...]

Invisible Women

Are You Feeling Invisible?

"I know I'm invisible," a friend said a few weeks back. It was an unguarded moment over a quick drink, and I understood the subtext and it's this: I am past the age when heads turn or people notice my appearance for all the right reasons. And I accept it, though with regret. My friend is a busy woman, an accomplished woman, a woman who … [Read More...]

Pensive Woman Dark Background

Guile, Games, and Bluffing

Guile. We think of it as being crafty, cunning, or duplicitous. We may think of someone we know (and dislike), a master poker player (who always stares us down), or for that matter, a person whose gamesmanship never ceases to rankle. Those who are innocent and trusting in their approach … [Read More...]

Frustrated Woman With a Scale

Skinny Girls, Fat Heads: Women and Eating Disorders

A half dozen slim teenage girls were expressing hatred for their bodies, and I was reminded how easily eating disorders are born and sustained, and how deep-seated self-image issues remain. Worse, this was a scene taking place on a Danish television series, whereas … [Read More...]

Raw red beets

Beet Salad Beats All

"Beets," I say. "I must have a beet salad before we leave Paris." He laughs. "You had to have Belgian fries with mayonnaise before leaving Brussels, and it's beets before departing Paris." "Exactly," I say, as I (once again) wax poetic on my memories of "betterave" -- French for beets -- which I have enjoyed each time … [Read More...]

French Macarons 750x500

The Macaron: A Little Bite of Heaven

The macaron. You think you know what it is, and then you realize you were confusing it with the macaroon. For years. And wondering what the fuss was all about. Then it happens. And like your first love, it is the "coup de foudre." You have no inkling that you will be struck so whimsically, so exquisitely... and by the Parisian palace … [Read More...]

Anxious Woman 750x500

How Anxiety Ruins Performance

Performance anxiety? We've all been there at one time or another. But what about the most extreme anxiety that causes us to choke at the worst possible time? For me, a few days or a week before the Big Exam, the Do-or-Die Presentation, or the event in which all the puzzle pieces need to come together in … [Read More...]

daily plate of crazy overworked woman at office

Better Performance After Taking Time Off?

You tell yourself you will be more productive with a little time off. You try telling your boss the same, certain you will return refreshed and raring to go. But the challenge in taking time off -- even a single, solitary, spirit-soothing week of "nothing" -- includes the crazy schedule required before, and the soul-sucking stack of work … [Read More...]

Carpe Diem

Carpe Diem

Seize the day. That's what we're supposed to do when opportunities present themselves. Carpe diem and all that. But sometimes, the opportunity is ill-timed. A reporter wants you to appear on camera... and you're nursing the flu and fighting laryngitis, you've gained weight and you know what the lens will add, three frogs are caucusing … [Read More...]

Everything is urgent_Do it Now

Is It Urgent or Important?

This advice couldn't have come at a more propitious time, as I had forgotten to make the distinction between what is urgent and what is important. More critical still -- when you are presented with an underlying message of "do it NOW" for everything on your list of must-do's, where do you even begin? A few weeks back … [Read More...]

Confident Mature Blonde Woman

On Confidence, or… Putting On My “Big Girl” Pants

Does confidence come and go? Do we switch it on and off? Is it triggered so decisively as to buoy everything we do when the going is good, or drop us into a downward spiral when nothing goes right? My personal feeling is this: Self-assurance ebbs and flows. Belief in our competence (and value) surges … [Read More...]

1926 Bride

Flower Power

We pull out of the driveway in his Chevy van, Led Zeppelin pounding through the speakers in the back, his floppy denim hat tossed onto the orange shag, my mother fuming on the front porch, her face a fist. Why can't she see he isn't what she thinks he is? Why doesn't she understand that just because … [Read More...]

College Student Studying 750x500

College Kids… Calling Home

Maybe he just wanted to know that I was doing okay. He does that sometimes; he checks in... on me. My college student checks up on his mom. Go figure. But this was something more. When my son had tried to get in touch … [Read More...]

Boston Winter_Beacon Hill

Cold and Snowy

With much of the country blanketed by cold and snow, it's hard to imagine that March is the month that goes out "like a lamb." It is certainly the time of year when I used to gather my pennies and head South; living in the Northeast, it was thoughts of Florida that kept me going until mid-March. No need … [Read More...]

Man Looking in the Mirror

When a Hard Look Is in Order

We gaze into the mirror and indulge in soul-searching. Well... Some of us gaze, and some of us indulge in soul-searching. Reflection, even without an explicit purpose, can be revealing. So why not devote a little time to introspection? Aren't there insights to be gained? On the other hand, taking a hard look … [Read More...]